Elise Archer has herpes and David Walsh is a hook-nosed Jew.

Residents of Hobart, go back to the plough,
faux-culture has invaded now.

Your pints have been replaced by schooners
– the choice of useless baby boomers.

Places once containing pool
have been replaced with twee drool.

Girls with painted brows birth future crims,
sired by roid-boys on booze-fueled whims.

On each street tapas are available,
fresh from the Thai-slave table.

The open mics are on every night
to replace old bar fights.

An old gambler runs the southern Louvre,
don’t be fooled and think he’s doing it for you.

Wellington in summer is covered in snow,
it’s just a place for tourists to go.

Elise Archer, with her fake face and tits,
personifies a place that was never it.

Residents of Hobart, go back to the plough,
no one really wants you now.